I hear people say, “this is just who I am” or “I’m just not good at [insert whatever here]” as a way to explain why they don’t have what they want, or why they are unsuccessful in some way. The objective reality is that doesn’t mean you can’t change.
We think that we are beholden to our habits, but that’s totally wrong. We can learn new information and make different decisions at any time. We think we don’t know how to change, that’s usually because we’re on auto-pilot, we’re not present, and we’re letting our lizard brain run the show. You do know how, just stop and notice what is actually happening now, take a second to figure out what you actually want (not what you think you’re supposed to want), and do whatever gets you closer to your goals.
You might think you’re disorganized, short tempered, or anxious, but have you ever actually thought about what that even means? Make a real list of the way you want to feel about yourself, the way you want to live your life, the things you want to experience. Read that list and ask yourself if you’re doing anything at all to work towards changing those statements. Ask yourself, “what’s the benefit of believing that this is who I am?” The answer to that question might surprise you.
We keep ourselves so busy that we don’t take time to focus on what we’re actually trying to accomplish in life. So this is the time, it’s a new year. Hit pause for long enough to take an inventory of the things that you do automatically, the things you think are simply “who you are,” and decide if you want that to still be true a year from now.